Heidi Skudder is one of the UK’s leading early years parent coaches. In this article, we asked her to go through the most common reasons for baby crying and give advice on how to better understand what your little one is trying to communicate.
Overwhelmed by baby’s crying? Understanding your own reaction
As a new parent, one of the most overwhelming sounds can be that of your baby crying. The reason is that our nervous system is primed to code the crying as “danger,” which explains why you easily feel stressed, upset and dysregulated by the sound of your baby crying.
While this article aims to help you interpret what your baby is trying to communicate, understanding your feelings and reactions could also be helpful.
Your baby’s cry and the way you feel about it can be directly influenced by many factors, for example:
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Any trauma experienced during birth.
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Your journey to becoming a parent: fertility challenges can impact how you feel about parenthood and raise concerns about how to protect your baby.
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Your own sensitivity to noise: some parents are more affected by loud noises than others.
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Your parenting style, and the way you were parented, often influence how you respond to your baby crying.
Baby cry – understanding what your baby is trying to communicate
When you first become a parent, it can be difficult to interpret your baby’s cry. This is entirely normal. In the beginning, your baby needs very few things, so you can slowly move through the list of what they might need in that moment of crying – and do not worry if you get it wrong.
Baby cry sounds and meaning – the most common reasons
Hungry. Perhaps the most common reason for crying in the early weeks is that your baby needs to feed. It may surprise you how frequently your newborn needs to be fed, often every couple of hours (sometimes more!). Offering your little one a feed may help soothe their crying.
Tired. A small baby (0-3 months) can often only manage to be awake for 1-1.5 hours before they need to sleep. Babies who are awake for hours on end often get overtired and harder to settle to sleep. Understanding awake windows can be key.
Discomfort. Babies cry; it is normal. But if your baby is crying a lot, it could have something to do with their comfort levels. This kind of cry is often high-pitched, and you may see your baby arching their back. Seek help from professionals to troubleshoot this kind of crying. Start with a lactation consultation to help you assess your baby’s latch. A tongue tie assessment could also be a good idea if the problem persists.
Teething. Getting new teeth can be an uncomfortable experience, so the crying may well relate to that. For most babies, this will not start before six months, but for some, it happens earlier. A teething cry is often a low-level, grumbly and regular cry, rather than a high-pitched scream. Your child can also become clingy and seek your comfort more often. If you suspect your baby is teething, offering teething toys and teething gels can be helpful.
Baby cry is communication – give yourself time to understand your baby
Remember that there could be plenty of other reasons why your baby is crying: feeling overstimulated, feeling too hot or too cold, recent vaccinations, or separation anxiety could all affect their mood.
When the baby cries, it is trying to communicate. They are unable to speak, so their crying ultimately helps inform you, the parent, that they need something. Learning to understand your baby takes time and confidence; show yourself compassion while doing so, and seek professional advice when needed.
About Heidi
Heidi Skudder
Early years parenting coach & BioGaia Ambassador
Heidi Skudder, one of the UK’s leading early years parent coaches, founded Positively Parenthood (formerly The Parent and Baby Coach) to provide experienced-based, compassionate support for new parents. With a background in psychology, hands-on childcare, and over a decade of sleep and behaviour coaching, Heidi has helped thousands of families navigate the early years with confidence.
This content is for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to replace professional healthcare advice. Always seek the guidance of a qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical concerns.
